Children naturally believe without question and absorb knowledge at an incredible rate; since there is no other frame of reference; they believe their parental reality, true or false. - David W. Earle
To be free to roam our own consciousness and be responsible for ourselves, a letting go process is required. We have to let go of how others define us; what damaging messages remain from childhood; how others define our relationship with the creator; and what expectations they may have for us. - David W. Earle
Rigid traditions capture soulsprisons of spiritual thoughtman’s religion has captured a god grown too small and very weak. - David W. Earle
When one person attempts to fix it for the other person, the connection of acceptance is snapped and the sender and receiver miss an opportunity for understanding. - David W. Earle
For many years, I searched for this connection outside of myself but always to no avail. It was only when I turned inward did I find this power. - David W. Earle
Black and white thinking limits understanding and feedback, two necessary ingredients for successful resolution in creative conflict and successful understanding. - David W. Earle
Change is hard, difficult, painful, and often messy - David W. Earle
What are humans meant to do; why are we here? Are we a mutation on the earth destroying its host? Are we a cancer destined to kill what supports us? I think not. So exploring this question is a powerful exercise in meaning; what is the meaning of human existence? - David W. Earle
Families living in dysfunction seldom have healthy boundaries. Dysfunctional families have trouble knowing where they stop and others begin. - David W. Earle
Reality may not be what you want it to be, but it is the reality you now must face. You can deny this reality and try to wish it away, or you can accept it and not waste any energy on wanting it to be different. - David W. Earle
Other people feel love when we listen without judging and accept them without demanding change. We all desperately require these basic needs. When we can do this for another, we are indeed that person’s angel. - David W. Earle
If no one has boundaries…how can there be any transgression? - David W. Earle
The strange part about a person’s lack of trust is that it often comes from not trusting themselves. - David W. Earle
Being real is being true to you. - David W. Earle
Swirling in a squirrel cage of perpetual motion, the head-committee meets, argues, votes out the guidance available from emotions, and successfully keeps serenity at bay and chaos close at hand. - David W. Earle
Teenagers can spot hypocrisy a mile away and here I was telling them how to cope when they witnessed the shambles of my own life and how I was living. - David W. Earle
If we want to improve, first we have to recognize our own maladaptive coping skills, called codependency, then change. - David W. Earle
We can be safe and live with other defined truths exemplified by a capital T or we can change and with our limited time experience truth with a small t, seeking our own understanding, which can change with new awareness. - David W. Earle
Controlling others is the cornerstone of dysfunctional families. - David W. Earle
This is what we desire in intimate relationships but this deep connection is often so frightful that most do not take advantage of the opportunities presented for honesty. - David W. Earle
People build defenses around a weakness, not around strength. Where self-esteem is strong, a defense is unnecessary. - David W. Earle
Change will not successfully happen unless the emotional component is solved. - David W. Earle
Making amends is not only saying the words but also being willing to listen to how your behavior caused another’s pain, and then the really hard part…changing behavior. - David W. Earle
There are two ways of thinking. One is living life based on fear. The other is trusting. Letting go and allowing trust to control our lives takes mental gymnastics. - David W. Earle
When I looked at myself through the prism of awareness, great tears came as I connected with how this wounded child felt. - David W. Earle
When this low self-worth is hidden, one can understand why the person becomes hypersensitive to the opinions of others and has a great deal of difficulty accepting criticism no matter how warranted or gently said. - David W. Earle
As a parent who raised his children in dysfunction, I know the parental wounds my children received were not intentional; often they were my best expression of love, sometimes coming out sideways, not as I intended. - David W. Earle
We violated each other’s boundaries with verbal missiles of anger disguised in the pretense of just kidding. - David W. Earle
People pay a dear price when not dealing with the powerful emotions. - David W. Earle
People who are unwilling to talk about deep personal issues do not trust their own emotions. - David W. Earle
Putting labels on others creates a black hole of disregard where judgment thrives and schisms deepen. - David W. Earle
Chaos limits the free-flow of love and becomes a roadblock to what family members want most and sadly, it becomes the normal for the family. - David W. Earle
When we leave this life, we only get to take two things: the love we received and the lessons we learned. - David W. Earle
I, like you, was not depraved or defected before birth but created to be magnificent, a wonderful and freeing realization - simple but explosive. - David W. Earle
If one wants to be loved and return it full score dagger of silence closes the door. - David W. Earle
Wounded parents often unintentionally inflict pain and suffering on their children and these childhood wounds causes a laundry list of maladaptive behaviors commonly called codependency. These habits restrict people to love-limiting relationships causing much unhappiness and distress. - David W. Earle
If you are looking for love under rocks or bringing home water moccasins, you might be confusing love and pain. - David W. Earle
It is one thing to know about your dysfunctional habits but quite another to change them. - David W. Earle
When someone obtains peace and serenity, this shines a bright spotlight on others’ own unhappiness making their discomfort even more apparent. - David W. Earle
Honoring your word is the fiber from which trust is built. - David W. Earle
When you wear a mask, you are not real. - David W. Earle
This imbalance causes resentments within the over-responsible and dependency with the irresponsible person and this dynamic becomes the destructive life-pattern not conducive to happy families. - David W. Earle
Mature adults gravitate toward new values and understandings, not just rehashing and blind acceptance of past patterns and previous learning. This is an ongoing process and maturity demands lifelong learners. - David W. Earle
In order for a person to be able to turn our lives and our wills over requires something very difficult for a spiritually wounded person to accomplish - Trust. Yet, to accomplish this step, trust of the spirit must be present. - David W. Earle
No one escapes some degree of chaos for it is so ever prevalent; it is the human experience. This realization does not mean we can’t improve. It does mean we can accept our state of chaos, lighten up on ourselves, have fun, and work on improving…we are a work in progress. Enjoy the journey. - David W. Earle
They sought the pain they knew so well and called it love. - David W. Earle
Others hide from being real by filling the air with words; the more words they throw out, the less actual communication happens and they are left with only an illusion of connection. This is the intimacy they so ardently seek but with these coping skills find so elusive. - David W. Earle
Under this aura of perfection he knows how flawed he really is but his intact denial system keeps this awareness suppressed in the far recesses of his mind. - David W. Earle
When you journey inwardly exploring yourself, a sense of personal trust begins. - David W. Earle
...the state of perfection is an elusive goal; demanding something so obscure as almost unattainable and can become a compulsive, crazy making squirrel-on-a-wheel way of living. - David W. Earle
Shame is a powerful feeling. There is a tremendous difference between making a mistake and believing you are a mistake...If I don’t see myself as being a mistake then it is I who must take responsibility and I am not ready to accept that. - David W. Earle
Sitting on the hot seat of change requires much courage, patience, and persistence. - David W. Earle
We ardently desire to take down our masks and say to the world, This is who I am…and I am okay. This is simple…not easy. - David W. Earle
Many of the habits of dysfunctional families use are not from the lack of love but are the result of fear. Knowing the love-limiting habits and behaviors of dysfunctional families is a wonderful beginning to lower the fear, allowing us to be real, allowing us all to learn how to love better. - David W. Earle
The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you. - David W. Earle
Boundaries represent awareness, knowing what the limits are and then respecting those limits. - David W. Earle
Life is a learning experience and this is a very peaceful method of accepting the reality you face…What will I learn? - David W. Earle
Our parents were our first gods. If parents are loving, nurturing, and kind, this becomes the child’s definition of the creator. If parents were controlling, angry, and manipulative, then this becomes their definition. - David W. Earle
What this world needs now… more balloons and clowns - David W. Earle
The greater the pain associated with love, the more likely a person is to be attracted to others who will inflict this pain…for isn’t this what love is? Hurt people tend to hurt other people. - David W. Earle
The more dysfunctional, the more some family members seek to control the behavior of others. - David W. Earle